The Hangover Part 2 (2011)

Title: The Hangover Part 2

Director: Todd Phillips (Old School, Road Trip, The Hangover)

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis
IMDB

Ok, I'll give the Hangover Part 2 this-  It was almost as good as Major League Part 2 and a little better than Back To The Minors.  This one picks off pretty soon after the Wolfpack Part 1 ended with everyone heading to Thailand to attend Stu's wedding.  My first question - what the fuck happened to Heather Graham?  I thought she was great in the first one.  Unless I'm remembering incorrectly, there wasn't really any offered explanation as to, story-wise, what happened between her and Stu's character.  What makes the situation a little more confusing is that Stu is already engaged to some other broad.  Heather was almost as hot as Rene Russo in Major League, so right there this movie loses points.  Anyways. 

I went into this one with the highest of expectations considering The Hangover was probably my favorite comedy of the year when it was released.  I read some early reviews suggesting that the story was just recycled with a change in locale and I was willing to accept that because why change what worked, right?  It's not like this shit was The Godfather and required a whole new level of character developement for the sequel.  With that being said - the early reviews that I read were spot fucking on.  It's like Todd Phillips took the chronological order of events from the first film, did a little rewriting, and it was a done deal.  Not to take away from the fact there are some surpremely funny moments.  Once again, Zach Galifianakis steals the show as Alan.  He does such a great job with this character and you can tell he's given A LOT of freedom to make the character his own.  With that being said, a lot of the jokes (from all the characters) fall flat in a big way.  Ken Jeong, reprising his role as Mr. Chow, is mostly annoying and not really funny at all.  It seemed like his lines were slapped together really quickly just to get him more screen time this time around.  In terms of cliched Asian characters, Takaaki Ishibashi was much better as Isuro Tanaka in Major League Part 2.  Maybe they should have got him to play Mr. Chow.  Ahhh, now I'm just getting ahead of myself here.  Ed Helms and Bradley Cooper, who were also both great in the first film, don't have nearly as many memorable lines as they did in the film's predecessor.  In fact, I can't think of one single line that I left the theatre thinking "Fuck, I need to take a mental note of that shit.  That was gold." which is strange considering The Hangover was, for me, the most quotable movie in years. 

With all the negativity aside, this could still be put in the 'average to above average' comedy file.  With huge expectations, huge disappointment will inevitably follow a large portion of the time.   In terms of Todd Phillips, you could say it ranks far behind Old School and a little bit ahead of School for Scoundrels.  In terms of non-Todd Phillips- way the hell behind Major League.  

Rating: 5.5/10

Sucker Punch (2011)

Title: Sucker Punch

Director: Zack Snyder (300, Dawn of the Dead, The Watchmen)

Starring: Emily Browning, Jena Malone, Vanessa Hudgens (ugh.)

IMDB

First let me start off by saying I am legitimately ashamed of myself for watching anything with Vanessa Hudgens in it.  Also let me say that I didn't even watch this whole movie.  As soon as the Step It Up in 3D style dance scenes started I was just like "I'm outties!".  I remember seeing the trailer for this movie last year and thinking "what the fuck is this garbage?" as it was playing and then realizing it was the new Zack Snyder movie.  At that point I figured I'd give it a chance since I really liked - no I take that back - LOVED The Watchmen movie.  I also really enjoyed his Dawn of the Dead remake and 300 was totally watchable.  Normally I'm not into the movies shot entirely in front of a blue screen but if anyone pulls it off decently its Zack Snyder.  Jena Malone has also been known to RULE.  With that being said - this movie fucking sucked.  It made Major League 3: Back To The Minors look like Metropolis or Full Metal Jacket.  No joke.  I don't even know what else to say about this travesty besides the fact I'd rather watch the scrolling end credits to Major League for 2 hours than this piece of shit.

Rating 1/10

Super 8 (2011)

Title: Super 8
Director: J.J Abrams (Star Trek, Mission Impossible 3)
Starring: A bunch of kids
IMDB

Fuck, this guy J.J Abrams must have more money than Wild Thing Rick Vaughn after his big contract extension.   He is on a pretty good hot streak to say the least.  He doesn't do a lot of movie directing but out of what he has done - it's all been pretty solid.  I hate Star Trek and actually enjoyed the Star Trek movie.  A lot.  Mission Impossible 3 was also bad ass and easily the best out of the 3 films.  I'm not sure if that was the directing or just Tom Cruise getting rid of the brutal haircut from part 2.  Either way.

I heard some people comparing this movie to the Goonies which is pretty much setting up a huge fail for me.  Do you think just because theres a fat kid you can compare a movie to Goonies?  Hey lets go see Tommy Boy, I heard its the next Goonies!  Wow did you hear about that new movie Paul Blart Mall Cop - early test screenings are pointing us in the direction of the next Goonies!  Geez.  Goonies comparisons aside - this was actually a pretty fun movie.

During the filming of a, duh, Super 8 movie, a bunch of friends witness and catch a pretty high octane train crash on film.  What initially seems like a regular run of the mill catastrophic event turns into something a little more complicated when a creature is (in)advertently set free on an unsuspecting small town.

Like Cloverfield, its first and foremost a good story with a creature kind of lingering in the background cockblocking some lead character.  All the young unknown actors do a great job and were perfectly cast.  The pyromaniac firecracker addicted kid was especially funny and there were a lot of great lines courtesy of Mr. Abram's excellent writing.  Would I recommend this one?  Absolutely.  Is it the next Goonies or Stand By Me?  No.  It is most certainly not the next Major League.  The Indians winning the A.L Pennant was far more satisfying.

Rating:  7/10

Paul (2011)

Title: Paul
Director: Greg Mottola (Superbad, Adventureland, a bunch of TV shows)
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Seth Rogan, Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig
IMDB

From writing/acting duo Simon Pegg and Nick Frost (the funny guys from Shaun Of The Dead and Hott Fuzz  - 2 stellar films) and director Greg Mottola (Superbad, and the very underrated Adventureland) comes a fun little comedy about a (CGI) Alien named Paul on the run from the government and looking to hitch a ride home to whatever the hell planet he is from.  Simon Pegg and Nick Frost are great, as usual, as the nerdy lifelong friends who have come to America to attend Comicon.  Through chance they eventually meet Paul and embark on a journey that will hopefully end with Paul fleeing the planet for his homeland.  All the actors, including Jason Bateman as the government agent, Kristen Wiig as the female lead, and Seth Rogan as the voice of Paul do a great job and are generally all very funny.  The fact that they didn't tone it down and went with the R rating really helps (as it did with Superbad) the jokes remain raunchy enough to peek my attention. Every time Paul drops the Fuck bomb or starts smoking it's actually really funny.  Is it as funny as Major League?  No.  Duh.  Is Nick Frost as good looking as Tom Berenger?  No.  Is Jeffrey Tambor's head as shiny as Pedro Cerano's?  Not even close.  With all that being said, this one is definitely worth a watch.

For Fans Of: Superbad, Hot Fuzz, wordy Judd Apatow movies.

Rating - 7.5/10

Alright folks...

Hey bud.  How's it going?  Within these pages I will review movies on a revolutionary new scale.  It's a little scale that I consider kind of a bastard child of baseball's Sabermetrics and Siskel and Ebert's thumb system.  I present to you - How Does Your Movie Compare to Major League.  We can all agree that Major League is probably the best movie ever put to film. Citizen Kane?  Pfffft.  Shawshank?  Not bad.  The Godfather?  I wouldn't kick it out of bed. Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story?  That one is actually amazing.  Are any of these Major League?  The long and short answer to this question is NO.  THEY ARE NOT.

With all that being said - I present the scale:

1-3 out of 10 - I'd Rather Be Watching Major League

4-6 out of 10 - Decent, But I'd Still Rather Be Watching Major League

7-8 out of 10 - I'd Probably Pause Major League To Watch This Shit

9-10 out of 10 - I'd Take Major League Out Of My DVD Player And Actually Put It Back In The Case And Watch This Whole Movie Without Major League Breaks Or Uttering "How's Your Wife And My Kids?".

So stay tuned for upcoming reviews.  At this point I won't have any particular system for reviews - it will just be what I watch and feel like reviewing.  It will probably be mostly newer releases but I'll try and throw in some classics here and there.  If anyone wants to request a review of a movie I hopefully haven't seen yet, feel free to contact me.  Make Roger Dorn proud!